Couples Therapy in Encinitas: What the First Few Sessions Look Like

One of the most common things couples tell me in our first meeting is that they almost did not come. One partner was ready months ago. The other worried it would turn into a session of being blamed. Both were unsure what would actually happen.

Knowing what to expect can make that first step much easier, so here is how the beginning of couples therapy usually goes with me.

The first session: getting to know you as a couple

In our first session, I want to hear what brought you in and what each of you hopes will change. I also want to hear how you met and what drew you to each other. That part surprises some couples, but the story of how a relationship began often says a lot about its strengths.

My job is not to decide who is right. I am there for the relationship, which means both of you should feel heard.

Getting a fuller picture

Because I draw on the Gottman Method, the early sessions usually include a closer look at how your relationship works. This can include questionnaires and a short individual conversation with each partner. Together, these help us see where your friendship is strong, how you handle conflict, and where you tend to get stuck.

Setting goals together

Once we have that picture, we talk through what I noticed and decide together what to focus on. Some couples want to stop the same argument from repeating. Others want to feel close again after a busy stretch of parenting, or to rebuild trust after a betrayal. The goals are yours, and we adjust them as we go.

What you can do before the first session

• Think about one or two moments recently when you felt close, and one or two when you felt far apart.
• Try to come with curiosity about your partner's view, even if you disagree with it.
• Remember that feeling nervous is normal, and that you do not need to prepare a speech.

Couples therapy in North County San Diego

I offer couples therapy in Encinitas for couples who are dating, engaged, married, or somewhere in between. You do not need to be in crisis to start. Many couples find it easier to come in early, before a pattern has had years to settle in.